Work, Men, & Focusing
Way Beyond Words Publication
https://open.substack.com/pub/peterjryan/p/way-beyond-words-2023-12-1-work-men?r=2io0xn&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Being conscious and present in a physically demanding job can feel like an uphill battle. In commercial construction jobs as I experience, the act of focusing and creating mental space for what truly matters can be the most challenging part.
Arriving at work, you're met with a diverse group of individuals, each with their own stories. Personal conflicts, the pressure of supporting a family, the demands of industrial work - all these thoughts and emotions swirl around, often leading to a sense of disconnection from oneself. Too much energy is spent on external demands, leaving little room for introspection.
These are the moments I often find myself in. Whether I'm leading a team or chasing a deadline, it all feels external. It's a constant cycle of actions and reactions. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to pause, ground myself, and resist the relentless pace of work.
Before writing this, I felt trapped in my own mind, detached and numb to my own physical sensations. In such moments, I've learned to step back, find a quiet space, and focus on my breath. When I feel isolated and overwhelmed, trapped in my own thoughts, breathing becomes my gateway to reconnecting with my body.
In these moments, I can feel the process of creating mental space beginning. I can feel the tension easing, the grip of my reactive mind slowly loosening. As each metaphorical finger uncurls, I feel a sense of release.
Once the constraints of my mind have dissipated, my breath expands into a clear space, free of preconceived narratives. This space is open to what truly matters. Often, the act of creating this space is the most important part. Like a father cradling his newborn child, this space becomes sacred, allowing for new possibilities and choices. It enables me to respond to situations with presence, rather than reacting impulsively.
Creating this mental space is the first step in the process of Focusing. It helps us navigate the demands of the world in relation to our own experiences, which can sometimes feel like a mountain to climb.
The commercial construction industry doesn't typically prioritize mindfulness or awareness, but incorporating these practices can provide invaluable support to colleagues. Once I've cleared my own mental space, my role on the construction site begins to resemble my other role as a Men's Work Facilitator. I become a supportive ally, open to listening and understanding others' experiences.
Even as I write this, a stoic coworker approached me, sharing his tumultuous family situation with the potential of fathering a young boy in need of a Masculine Figure. As he relayed his story, I was able to sit, open and clear, listening unconditionally. I know that if I hadn't taken the time to clear my own mental space, I wouldn't have been able to be fully present and compassionate in listening to his experience.
The practice of unconditional listening can be transformative, particularly in environments dominated by traditionally masculine and aggressive figures. Even a brief period of this practice integrated into the workday can create a sense of ease and fluidity. Men become more productive when they are not burdened by their personal conflicts.
This practice brings things full circle - from being personally affected to providing a space for others to share their experiences. In a way, it unintentionally strengthens community bonds.
In stereotypically masculine roles, much is lost without intentional pauses. By following our own process of creating mental space, we allow others' experiences to be heard and empathized with, creating a secondary space of understanding.
The world is increasingly demanding, and in industries like construction, this demand can feel like a relentless force. I believe that loosening our grip and embracing a softer approach can enrich our lives and those of others. It simply requires intentional embodiment and quiet presence in the relationships that form within the industry.
